


Flop Around

by micehell



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Humor, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-01
Updated: 2005-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-12 21:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micehell/pseuds/micehell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The anger management course didn't work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flop Around

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at work, since at the time I worked at a place where this one guy kept playing a CD so loud that everyone could hear it (and no one would do anything about it, damn the seniority system!). To add insult to injury, it was the same CD over and over, and while I used to like Smokey Robinson, after that just the opening chord to _Shop Around_ could drive me to homicidal impulses. ;)

The call from the police station had come early in the evening.

“Master, I’m in a bit of a bind.”

Qui-Gon had gone down to the station as soon as he’d collected enough money to cover the fine, but it was still several hours later before he was allowed in to see Obi-Wan.

Looking his padawan over, Qui-Gon could see nothing wrong with him, but then he rarely could. But that was neither here nor there. “How are you doing, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan gave him a bright smile, the kind that you get from children, serial killers, and those odd people who hung around the spaceports. “I’m doing great. I’m very popular here, as loads of people have offered to be my friend. It’s very sweet. They’re a little… intense, and they don’t really seem to understand the concept of personal space, but I’m sure we’ll all get along quite well.”

Well used to his padawan’s sarcastic bent by now, Qui-Gon just nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry, though, but you won’t get to play with your new friends any more, as they’re processing the fine payment now. You should be out of here soon.”

“Oh, don’t go to any great length on my account, since I’m sure I’ll love it here. They seem to be very fond of personal hygiene, considering how many of them have mentioned the showers to me. You know how much I like a nice shower.”

Qui-Gon sighed. He loved his padawan, in many, many ways, but sometimes…. “Obi-Wan.”

“Yes, Master?”

But Qui-Gon just shook his head. “Never mind. I should be used to it by now, after all.”

Obi-Wan’s lips twitched, but he kept a straight face as he said, “Yes, Master.”

“They said that you were in here for destruction of personal property. What exactly happened?”

Obi-Wan considered for a moment. “Well, it was all Bruck’s fault, really.”

Qui-Gon nodded sagely. “Of course.”

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan sounded utterly sincere, which was the tone he used when he was lying through his teeth.

“I see. And exactly *how* was it all Bruck’s fault?”

“He had this CD.”

Qui-Gon waited, but nothing more was forthcoming. “And you wanted it?”

But Obi-Wan shook his head. “No.”

Qui-Gon sighed again. “This might go faster if you’d stop pausing for dramatic effect.”

Another smile, but this one was real. “It wouldn’t be as much fun.”

“Obi-Wan.”

“Yes, Master?”

“Just tell the story.”

And that looked suspiciously like a pout, but Qui-Gon wasn’t falling for it. Not this time, anyway.

“You’re no fun.”

Qui-Gon nodded. “So I’ve been told. Often. The story.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Ok, already. Well, as you might remember, we were scheduled to attend that totally useless class that Master Windu assigned us to today.”

“The anger management class?”

The irony of that seemed to be lost on Obi-Wan, who just nodded. “Yes, that’s the one. And while we were there, Bruck had this one CD that he kept playing over and over again. It was driving me crazy. Literally. So I might have, inadvertently mind you, used the Force to throw both him and the player into a passing aircar. Though I didn’t let them go until I could see that they were completely safe, of course.”

Drily, Qui-Gon said, “Completely safe. Of course.”

Obi-Wan pursed his lips. “Ok, mostly safe. He may have landed on his head a little, and the player might have been under him, and therefore got crushed. A little. But Bruck wasn’t hurt.” He added something else after that, but it was too low to hear clearly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that last part. More’s the plenty?”

“Hmm, yes, that’s it. More’s the plenty. It just an expression that I use sometimes.”

Qui-Gon smiled inwardly, but let it go. “I see. Why didn’t you just ask him to turn it off?”

“I did. He didn’t.”

“Asked him to play something different?”

“He just laughed.”

“Broke the CD?”

“He had copies.”

“The player?”

“He had a backup. Really, breaking Bruck was my last resort.”

Qui-Gon had to fight the laugh that wanted to break out. He was a Jedi master, and he couldn’t laugh at a statement like that. Not in public, anyway. He made sure his expression was properly stern and Jedi masterish, and said, “I’m disappointed in you that you couldn’t handle the situation any better than that.”

Obi-Wan nodded solemnly, something he was good at faking. “Yes, Master. Though if you’d had to listen to eight straight hours of Jar-Jar Bink’s “Flop Around,” I think you might have done the same as I.”

Qui-Gon tried to imagine surviving even one straight hour of Jar-Jar Bink’s “Flop Around,” but it simply boggled the mind. Obi-Wan was really becoming quite the Jedi, though he probably shouldn’t tell him that in this situation.

Luckily, the order for Obi-Wan’s release came before he had to answer, thereby preserving his masterly dignity.

A week later, Obi-Wan was in their quarters, when he received a call.

“Obi-Wan, I’m in a bit of a bind.”


End file.
